Archive for November 2008

Hey Dad…..

November 28, 2008

Eye love my kids. Eye really do. And most of the time Eye’m proud of them. But there are times, when Eye know something is amiss.

It usually begins with the phrase, “Hey Dad…..”

It’s called Spackle.

And, they’re asking about it because they’re trying to cover up a hole the size of Pittsburgh. When you try and find out how this cavern was created, you usually get the response “I dunno,” or “It was there when I came home.”

At that point Eye figure it’s time to call Scoobie Doo—because the cartoon dog’s got about as much luck as Eye have in solving THAT mystery!

Usually uttered about 5:30 in the morning, when there’s about 30 seconds to go before the school bus comes, and while Eye’m still in deep REM sleep.

The document that needs my attention is usually a report card, or important note from the teacher.

When you ask why your child waited till this late moment to hand you the paper, you get the famous, “I dunno.”

Yeah right.

Should we call Scoobie Doo again?

That “thing” is guaranteed to be a crash. A hard crash that leaves the computer completely and totally devoid of anything in its memory or hard drive.

It usually happens just before Eye or my wife need the computer for some very important, work related task.

When the child is asked what they were doing before the computer decided to become a very large and expensive paperweight, the response is something like, “Nothing… Just playing Webkins, listening to my I-Tunes, looking at Wikipedia, Instant Messaging my friends, and downloading some stuff.”

Eye guess Eye ought to be grateful they can multi-task.

~~

As it turns out, being a father means you’ll always get the “HEY DAD …”

~~

But of all of the “Hey Dad’s” Eye’ll hear as my daughters grow up— perhaps the one that will strike the most fear into my heart will be:

Not even Scoobie Doo will be able to explain that one to me!

InstantEYE

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Type Oh’s…..

November 25, 2008

T hose of us who use computers are fortunate—in that we have a spell checker to make sure everything comes out right…

One push of a button—and misspellings are a gone as quickly as the money you had in the stock market last week…

And if you want to make yourself a fortune—perhaps you could do it by coming up with a spell-checking device that could be used in the real world…

Such as in these examples:

THERE OUGHTA BE A LAW…

Eye think someone needs to spend time in the department of corrections—

—spelling corrections that is…

THAT’S MY KIND OF ORGINEZASHUN….

IT’S “I” BEFORE “E”, AND “H” BEFORE “C”…

Two different signs—same wrong spelling….

Shouldn’t there be a “K” in Skool ?…

WHAT’S YOUR BEEF WITH THIS….

Fast food chains seem to have a real problem with THIS word that’s supposed to refer to a breed of hornless cattle that originally came from Scotland…….

…You don’t think it could have ANYTHING to do with the quality of people they get when they pay sub-minimum wage, do you?

InstantEYE

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Bits & Pieces, Odd & Ends….

November 24, 2008

Eye sometimes see lots of little things that get under my skin… Not enough to make up a full blog—but rather just enough bits and pieces to aggravate me…

So, let’s get to the rants….

MIGHT AS WELL JUMP…..

We’ve seen what happened to the original concept of the Wall Street bailout…

The people who convinced us it was needed immediately to save the banks suddenly reversed course..

In the meantime, everybody whose ever wanted a government handout from the auto industry to cities like Phoenix, Atlanta and Philadelphia have put their hand out demanding a piece of the action…

The latest whiner— CITIBANK, which suddenly needs cash…

The other day, the following sign appeared on Wall Street….

It pretty much sums up how EYE and a lot of others feel about the bailout…

WHOSE THE TURKEY HERE….

It was meant as one of those silly photo-ops that TV news so loves…

Legislative leader pardons turkey for Thanksgiving.

In this case the lawmaker was Alaska’s Sarah Palin…

And after pardoning the turkey—she stood for a 3 minute interview in front of a worker who was slaughtering birds—completely oblivious to what was happening behind her.

All of which gives lots of double meaning to everything she says.

Listen:

COPPING A PLEA….

And speaking of turkey’s—here’s a video of a guy getting a speeding ticket in Buffalo Grove, Ilinois…

As you can read here, he got tagged for going 58 MPH in a 35 mile an hour zone..

But, Eye think the speeding ticket is the least of his worries—as this patrol-car dashcam shows:

InstantEYE

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The Political Eye….

November 20, 2008

The Election’s over—but the political sniping continues…

Today, Eye look at some of the more interesting tid-bits that are out on the political landscape for all of us to see…

GET OVER IT—HE WON….

The latest complainer about the election results is conservative radio talk-master John Ziegler whose put together a documentary interviewing Obama supporters after they voted.

On his website, he uses those folks to buttress his case that the 67-million who voted for Obama were illiterate morons.

As this clip below shows—the folks he interviewed didn’t know a lot about the issues…

But—it’s not restricted to Obama.

Ask any TV, Radio or Newspaper reporter what it’s like to do man on the street interviews.. they’ll tell you there’s a ton of woefully uniformed folks out there—conservative, liberal and in between..

By the way John—don’t tell me you’ve never seen Jay Leno’s Jaywalking segment—whose concept you’ve completely ripped off…

Leno doesn’t find a lot of brain surgeons out there either !

WORK IT OUT WITH A PENCIL….

The latest Email to fly around the web plays on Obama’s comments to Joe The Plumber about “spreading the wealth around a little bit…”

Eye got mine from a friend whose an Obama supporter—but thought it was funny enough to pass on…

The text with the picture touts the new “spread the wealth pencil sharpener” which will be mailed to every taxpayer this year by the IRS along with your 2008 Tax return form.”

After looking at this—I’d hate to see what they come up with for the 2009 pick-pocketing bailout pencil sharpener!

YOU ASK ME THIS FAVOR….

It appears the expected backlash against Joe Lieberman won’t be happening….

Despite his campaigning for McCain—the Democrats are going to let him keep his chairmanship of the Homeland Security Committee.

Word around Washington is that it was the intervention of the president-elect that convinced Democrats to leave Joe alone.

Seems like maybe Obama is following the Godfather’s philosophy to “keep your friends close—and your enemies closer.”

Now that Joe’s still got his committee-ship, EYE think he’ll owe Obama a few congressional favors.

InstantEYE

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The Ship That Would Not Die….

November 19, 2008

As we move further and further away from World War 2 —there are fewer and fewer people who remember some of the tremendous sacrifices that were made at the time in the name of freedom.

A few weeks back, EYE wrote a post that included the mention of a relative who was lost in the waning days of that war when he and over 700 others died following an attack on the aircraft carrier USS Franklin.

The piece struck a chord with Richard Don Simms—and he called me from Texas to talk about the Franklin.

In 1945, Richard was a 7-year-old boy, proud of his dad Omer who was serving aboard the U-S-S Franklin.

On the 19th of March 1945, the Franklin was attacked by a single Japanese plane—which dropped 2 bombs on the carrier—doing the worst possible damage..

One bomb struck the flight deck penetrating to the hangar deck… The resulting explosion and fire engulfed the second and third decks, knocking out the combat information center … The second bomb hit aft, also penetrating deep into two decks exploding ammunition, bombs and rockets.

In that below deck inferno—scores of men died or were trapped. Among the trapped—Omer Dee Simms.

Survivors told the tale of Omer Simms taking more than an hour to lead a party of trapped men through the dark, burning, badly listing wreckage below decks until they found a hatch.

They later recalled how Omer forced the hatch open, and let others go before him to safety.

Omer Dee Simms never joined his escaping shipmates—he died when a Napalm bomb exploded.

He was one of 724 men killed that day. 265 others were wounded.

These days, Richard is quite well known in the Dallas area for his comedic banjo act—and the 70-year-old occupies some of his time every week playing his Banjo for the troops at the local USO….

The man who lost his father on the Franklin, sees the face of his dad in each and every soldier he plays for— as he honors the memory of Omer Dee Simms.

~~~~

Among the moments captured by newsreels and combat photographers on the Franklin that day was is this one— which shows a Chaplain giving the Last Rites to a sailor.

When they people saw the newsreel back home at the time—or viewed that photo—they believed that young sailor was among those lost that terrible day.

Robert Blanchard was the man in that picture. He didn’t die. He survived and went on live a full life after he war.

Here’s his story of the attack and how he survived—in his own words…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

~~~~

By all rights the Franklin should have sunk that day.

It took on so much water it was listing 13 degrees.

It was heavily damaged internally. A majority of its crew were killed or injured.

But the tenacity of the Franklin’s remaining crew refused to let the ship die.

She eventually made it back to the Brooklyn navy yard where she was repaired—but never saw action again.

And now, close to 70 years after the Franklin was hit, the remembrances of it grow fainter and fainter as those who lived that history pass from the scene.

Now, new generations must learn the story—or the ship that wouldn’t die, surely will.

InstantEYE

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It’s Why They Call It The Idiot Box….

November 17, 2008

Years ago, the comedian Fred Allen said of TV, “it’s called a medium, because it’s rarely well done.”

And although he made those comments in the 60’s—it still applies today.

THE BOOB (only lower) TUBE….

With all that’s wrong in the world—from an economy that’s self-destructing—to war, you’d think TV news would rise to the occasion..

But all it really wants to do is get a rise out of you…

How else can you explain this 3 and a half minute segment on the KTLA evening news…

It’s a live report on one of the most pressing crises in the world today–how to make a woman’s nether-region look prettier..

And TV news wonders WHY it’s losing credibility…

A PICTURE ELIMINATES A THOUSAND WORDS…

Let’s hand it to cartoonist Dave Coverly who draws the Speed Bump panel.

He got this one just right.

REALITY (TV) BITES

If you’ve ever watched a toddler look at TV—you can see they’re almost mesmerized by it— like its some kind of drug.

Well—it may not just be the little ones who are held in TV’s hypnotic grasp…

New research by the University of Maryland has found that Unhappy people watch way more TV than happy folks..

This was no quickie study either.

They spent 30 years on this project, as you can read here..

And–surprise, surprise—TV viewing increases as the economy gets worse.

The researchers speculate that unhappy people gravitate toward TV because it requires nothing of them–except to passively sit and watch.

Viewers don’t have to go anywhere, dress up, find company, plan ahead, expend energy, do any work or spend money in order to be part of the TV experience.

The question unanswered by all this is: which comes first–the unhappiness or the TV viewing.

Does watching more TV make people less and less happy? Or do people turn to TV as they get more and more depressed?

And then—when they turn to TV, all they get is “Betty” stories, and a constant parade of media frenzy trivializing the useless.

InstantEYE

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